It's Not All Fun and Games

Most people strive towards happiness. We want to be entertained. We want to have fun. We want our children to be happy. We avoid people or events that are sad, troubled, or that might “bring us down.” But we all need to feel the opposite emotions on occasion. We need to experience grief, disappointment, and sadness. We all know that we need to feel unhappy sometimes in order to know joy. I don’t intend to discuss clinical depression here but you could find some materials at the library to help you learn about depression which could lead you in the right direction towards seeking needed help. Instead, I’m just talking about the normal ups and downs of life.

Some friends of mine recently had a good friend of theirs who was reaching the end of his life. Instead of continuing on with the many enjoyable activities and happy pursuits that fill their lives, my friends intentionally turned to face sadness and unhappiness. Justin started spending ever increasing time with their friend and as he became bedridden, Justin talked, listened, and read to him. Near the very end, when he couldn’t concentrate as much, Justin read children’s books to him, including beloved ones from his own childhood.

Now that the friend has died, my friends are facing more than sadness. They are dealing with full-blown, heart-wrenching grief. I know, and you probably do, too, that the hole-in-the-heart pain they are experiencing will be replaced with warm, glowing memories over time. During that time, my friends will probably read certain books or watch certain movies that will help them grieve and also help them heal the heart-holes.

Some of those items they’ll certainly find at the library. Too, if they happen to buy a helpful book while traveling through this difficult time, they might not want to have it staring up at them from the coffee table after they’ve extracted what they can out of it. They will donate the book to the library where it could help someone else facing one of the low points of life.

At Neill Public Library we’re all about fun, entertainment, and happiness. But we’re also ready to assist if you’re looking for materials that support your needs on the other side of the coin. We can help you locate the items within and without the library collections that address those times of grief, loss, or just plain sadness. And then we’ll be ready and waiting for you when it’s time for you to join us again for fun and games.

by Randi Adams

Technical Services Supervisor

published in Moscow-Pullman Daily News, June 25, 2011